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Astrology & Such pt .1

Interesting find: Aries Weaknesses; ARIES TRAITS
Weaknesses: Lack of patience, mood alterations, predisposition for quick loss of temper, impulsiveness, aggressiveness. … Aries belongs to fiery sings, as Leo and Sagittarius do. That’s why, these folks are so overly active and are always looking forward doing something.

Best for Marriage and Partnerships: Libra

– Now that is quite interesting. I’ve been with my partner for a whopping 11 years now, my partner is a Libra. It just so happens that my previous partner of 5-6 years, was a Leo. After reading more about the Sag, I can say I’m quite content not having had any long term relationships with one. I don’t think so anyways & I’m usually pretty on point with the astrology stuff.

Libra: They are very smart and wish to win. They find great inspiration in reading, intriguing debates and meeting unconventional folks.

Whilst researching Aries, if I didn’t know anything about Aries just yet, this website tells me first and foremost that;

a. My day of the week is Tuesday

b. My favorite color is Red

c. My spirit animal is a Cheetah ( perfect)

& d. My number is 9 ( never knew!)

“These dynamic individualities are on a constant search of the answers to private and metaphysical issues. That’s their greatest indication.”

Read more: http://astrology.care/aries.html Astrology.Care

Yep! That’s me, always searching for deeper answers. Always looking for more.

The deeper I crawl into the rabbit hole of Zodiac signs, the higher my desire to know more becomes.

Have you ever read your horoscope of the day, the week, the month, or even for the year, and as you read on, your thinking to yourself, ” WHOA, how do they know? How’d they do that? What Crystal Ball is this writer looking into to discover exactly who I am and how my life is going?”. How do they do that? I mean really, is it just through research? That is exactly what I’m doing here, right now, researching the Zodiac signs. From all this information I’m absorbing, at this point, I could probably write my own horoscopes for certain signs!! Right? I’m not sure about that, but it seems like it’d be a LOT of work, a LOT of dedication right there. Some people, rely solely on their daily horoscopes. To complete every day tasks, and more… like;

  • Deciding which numbers to play on the lottery
  • Deciding what color/s to wear, or to not wear that day
  • To see if they will indeed find love or not,
  • To find out if their partner is being faithful, or not,
  • To decide if they should even leave the house that day, or if they are in for some serious shit for the day, and should just stay inside.

People use horoscopes for everything. I’ve got a story, it’s actually quite embarrassing, but hey, F@$?! IT!!

I’ve always believed mostly in horoscopes, or at least in the backgrounds of the Zodiac signs, their meanings and such. I of course like most other American Girls my age at the time, had my daily horoscope delivered either to my email, texted to me, through an app, OR at least, checked daily in the newspapers/ magazines!! ESPECIALLY magazines!! Boy, in my day- there really weren’t all of these online surveys, or online ” relationship quiz” , we didn’t go to a computer to do that sort of thing. No, we bought magazines. Teen Magazine. People, Teen Beat, COSMO, Seventeen. Oh gosh, I would be the happiest little cheerleader in the WORLD when my magazine subscriptions would come in the mail, ( mailbox, not email) Or, while standing in line at the grocery store with my mother, I’d look to the coolest looking magazine nearby, skim through the pages, and if she’d buy it for me, ahhhhhh!!!! I’d just GLOW inside and out with happiness!!! Laying on my floor, flipping through the pages of a teen magazine was the highlight of preteen-agehood back then! The best part though? The end. The last few pages- maybe even the very last page. Actually no, there were usually a few good perks throughout the pages, before magazines became such less of a thrill. The magazines almost always smelt amazing , leaving anything touched, with the scent of the latest and most expensive perfume. Scented inserts. HAH! That my friends, was some genius marketing. I guess I should say is, rather than was, as I see that some magazines still do this!

   Check this out, this is a really cool read, it was at the top of my  search results I got on google while looking into the " fragrance strips / Scented inserts". It's an article from MARCH 27th, (ironically) 1988 called, " OVERPOWERING THE SCENT MARKET". Written by Andrew H. Malcolm.  I found it 

Anyways, So yeah , our quizzes, and horoscopes were usually towards the end, or at the end, of the magazines, and it was definitely the best part. Some of the quiz names were just as silly as the ones you’d find on Facebook today.

  • ” What’s your FLAVOR?
  • “Make Your Crush Love you”
  • ” Will you and your B.F.F always stay B.F.F’S?
  • “What does your dream mean?”
  • ” Find out what day of the week you should be on the lookout for love”

Oh yah! Those are some excellent throwbacks!!

Pin on Graphics
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I’m telling you, I used to follow/read these quizzes, and horoscopes, religiously. They were a life- line, they had the answers I needed to succeed in life. hahaha I’m so serious. So here it is… the embarrassing part.

As I got older, my horoscopes got more mature, right along with me. I stopped following and reading them so religiously, I think I almost completely stopped opening the texts, the emails, I ignored it all because … “its fake.” Okay, so I have had this job, and one of my co-workers is SUPER into astrology. Like, she knew everything about every zodiac sign, she knew which days of the current week were “the best days”, all the stuff astrology, she knew. So she was constantly reading off our horoscopes, telling us which color we should not be wearing on which day, etc. No harm, no foul.

Until, my partner and I were having a bit of a tough stretch, well, looking back, I was having a bit of a tough stretch, and the gravitational pull from my emotions dragged everyone I loved right into the dark with me. I was pregnant at this time & had a toddler at home. I was insecure, huge, exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional, and just was feeling awful. I come into work around 3pm, after just having worked an overnight , and my dear co-worker is all in amiss, worried, concerned, it was all over her face. I sit at my desk, prepare myself for my 2nd overnight shift, and said co-worker walks over, places a folded newspaper on top of my keyboard, and says something along the lines of… ‘ Read this… don’t panic, but does this sound to you, at all familiar?’ I go on, and read my daily horoscope. I don’t remember exactly what is says, but this goes on for about a week. I read my horoscope daily, and each day I make myself more stressed over it. It kept bringing up a dream. A dream that an Aries had recently had, that was not smoke and mirrors, it was happening in real life. Now, here I am, probably 7-8 months pregnant, exhausted. Drained. Defeated. Troubled. Feeling SO insecure. Well, I had been dreaming often of my partner cheating. As well as some of those awful pregnancy dreams we all tend to have towards the end. It was such a bad feeling I can’t even describe. I actually believed the dream/s, the horoscopes, the crazies… I went off on my partner, it made everything so much worse. I dove deep into a rabbit hole of dream meanings, horoscopes, etc. This is all pseudoscience, and I let it tear me apart over a dream.

My dream was not true, my partner was not cheating, never had, never has, never would. It’s funny because his Zodiac sign says all about how loyal, honest, trustworthy, etc etc, he is.

So, my point is I guess, those things really can f@#$ with you!!

I found this nice piece here that explains how astrologers write daily horoscopes.

Daily horoscopes are written using the Moon because the Moon changes signs every 2 to 2-1/2 days, this in turn changes our moods and emotions from day to day, so naturally the Moon would affect on us a daily basis, so using the Moon to write daily horoscopes makes sense.

DR. STANDLY.COM

I think it’s fair to say, I do slightly believe in zodiac signs, meanings, etc – HOWEVER, I don’t delve deep into the horoscope part. Not at all anymore. I can’t even tell you the last time I actually read my horoscope, but I do like to read about my sign. I love learning about the shifts of planets, retrogrades, how it effects our moods, cycles, relations, etc. I’m a strong believer, I just can’t with horoscopes. I just CAN, and DO, with signs though.

The next part of this will be solely dedicated to the zodiac signs. I promise, I won’t bounce your brain all over the place like mine! :]

Good Morning America and everywhere else…

Today is the first day of this week that 2 of my children are actually going in to their school to learn. Boy do I miss what used to be known as a normal school day. Tuesday and Wednesday this week was remote learning from my kitchen table. ( Giving all 3 remote learning kids a set of headphones was probably one of the best decisions ever.) Although, I can still hear the tones of 3 women teachers in unison teaching different things to different aged groups of children, singing songs, rattling off numbers and equations, times tables, all the good stuff you would expect to learn in an elementary school classroom. Monday was a day off, to celebrate the day of Martin Luther King. He earned that day. I just want to make it clear before I go on, that I appreciate MLK, and I would never say anything to take away from him, his day, and all that he did. He is a Super Star in American history. If only he were here now to see the chaos that has been recreated. I don’t think he’d be at all happy about any of it.

However…. I want a day. A day where the entire Country thinks of and celebrates me.

I want to do something that is so important that it earns me a day of my own. I have my birthday, obviously, but it isn’t mine alone, it isn’t an entire day named after me. American’s don’t wake up on my birthday, and think of me. They don’t take a day off of school, or work for me. I actually would like for my day to be the 25th of March, my day, but named after me as well. If it were to be, it would go something like..

” A woman who was brought into this world on this day, a women who has become SO important to our world today. That today we shall celebrate her. Her life, her achievements, and heck, her existence all together period!!! “

lol I’m just playing!!! Imagine though… Being so important to the entire country, or WORLD! *jaw drops*

The zodiac sign for that day, is ARIES. I am an Aries, clearly. I want to represent the fierce, firey, passionate Aries in every way possible, not just as ‘my sign’.

That just gave me an idea. SUCH a great idea, that I can’t say just yet. Lets just see how it goes.

I was still dreaming at the time those thoughts went through my racing brain.. * eye roll* … someday…something.

Photo by Yuma Kim on Pexels.com

My father spent the day here, mapping, planning, designing, placing, measuring, gosh there really is so much behind running a business.

The first step ( the one I found out the hard way) , is to map and plan. You cannot just dive in with your eyes closed and succeed.

As an addict in recovery, in my early years, I was “taught” .. that us addicts are always looking for instant gratification. For example, an addict who is just nearing a month of sobriety, working hard at rebuilding the life they slowly and painfully destroyed, but not anywhere near where they want to be, would say something like…

” I’ve been sober for 28 days and still, no one will approve me for an apartment, I can’t take my kids anywhere myself, I can’t even open a damn bank account!! How am I supposed to even WANT to live a sober life if this is all it is..” [Solely an example folks.]

Solely an example folks, yet it sounds oh SO familiar.

Well my friend, it doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t work like that for anyonedoes it? I mean, it depends on the person really. The amount of damage, the time it took to do all the damage, the bridges burnt. Credit blown. Fixing our mess doesn’t happen overnight. There is no 1 “quick fix”. Maybe this wasn’t the best example for what I meant, BUT… it sounds good to read.

It’s real. It’s raw. It is honest and truthful.

If you are an addict reading this, and you feel completely hopeless, like you’ll never get off drugs, or never want to deal with the mess you made…please know.. it doesn’t happen overnight, or maybe not even in a year, but it WILL happen. It’s hard, its work, But you will make it, and you’ll come out stronger than you ever thought you could be.

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Maybe more like a child, ” I want what I want right when I want it!!”

That is literally my brain 89% of the time.

Any who. I got SO much done today . I actually feel somewhat accomplished. Not on my blog, my site, or my stores… or even my office – BUT, I played with my child. We took our baths and showers. Cleaned the bathroom top to bottom. Put away 3 loads of laundry at the same time as sorting/washing/drying another 3-4 loads of laundry. I updated one of the poshmark sites, and yeah, I’ve been back and forth on here, buttttt I’ve not let my day get completely consumed by business strategies, (ha, before I edited this it said ‘startegies’ I feel like that word describes this more perfectly), traffic, marketing ,etc. I’m trying to take a step back every so often. It isn’t easy.

I haven’t even gotten to half of the things I’m meant to say on this blog. I will. There is always, sometimes, hopefully,maybe, later.

It’s time to go pick up the kids… POSITIVE NOTE*** ITS THURSDAY NIGHT!!!

Thursday night is the most inspiring night of the week. It’s my girls night. My 2 beautiful besties and I, get to snack, paint, craft, chat, … ughh… If you don’t got yourself a Thursday night crew like mine, you’ve gotta get you one!!!

The more into the blog I get, the more I’ll share on us.

Alright, off to be super mom , get my kids, drop off some customer shipments & get supper ready so I’m prepared for 7pm !!! AHH

lol maybe I’ll see ya later xoxo

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My shop stuff

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I’m working so hard to create top quality products. I’ve been working hard. I’d like to share a few of my designs here with you. These are just a few customized orders I’ve created for my customers, dating back to this time last year.

What do ya’ll think??

Below you can purchase a Valentine’s Day Gnome Mug- ALSO, I’ve received a few requests for the cup in the title image, I’ll be making more today and adding a buy option as soon as enough are available!!

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Personalize your own Valentines Day Gnome Mugs!!

Submit the names you want listed below you’re gnomes, as well as a message for the backside of the cup ( optional) . You can email me at askme.truthmommy.com OR find my shop on facebook http://www.facebook.com/forthesakeofcups We accept PayPal, Venmo, Cashapp, and cash if you live locally. Shipping fees for USA are included in total.

$23.00

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1/4/2021


a peek into the mind of a mental health warrior, recovering addict, alcoholic, daughter, sister, and Mom.

Have kids

it’ll be fun

said no one ever
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I'll always love you! | Mommy quotes, Words, Mom quotes

The days have all just ran into each other for the last year. I feel tiered and exhausted and bored and bursting with useless energy. Well, the energy itself is not useless, its what I do , DON’T do, with all that energy that sucks.

A day late and a dollar short. That’s how it usually feels.

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I’m bursting with energy though!! I’m trying to find out what to put it towards. I have to stretch it between; my customizing business… the one I still cannot figure out a permanent name to yet *eye roll*, my website & blog, maintaining and cleaning my house, my children… and at the end of the night, when all is quiet… when my husband wants to ‘cuddle’ …. I’m like… nah bro. I’m stretched thin. ( man do I wish that was literal, although, I’d be nonexistent at this point. )

Setting up a professional facebook page for my business, is next to impossible. How am I supposed to concentrate when I have 3 kids on zoom school video calls, and 1 who just wants to play?

I don’t.

I guess I need to learn some planning skills. Map my day out maybe? I’ll look for some free downloads and maybe attach them here if I am able. ( I’ll probably get flagged or charged more money or charged… then lose my site & my pages… that’s my luck!) Wonder if I’ll find a production partner for my business.. or at least someone to take care of my product posting and listings…. probably not though.

I just need some assistance, but I’ll get to where I’m going.

I’m sure of it.

No matter how worried I am about all of it, I am apparently, exactly where I’m supposed to be. * hmmm*

We shall see.

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A trip to the Pool in 2019

July 30th, 2019

It’s days like today where I question where my sanity was at when I decided to have 4 children by the age of 28. I’m exhausted. I feel as though my spirit has been stomped on, picked up, chewed on & spat back out, over, and over and over again. Am I doing this right? I must not be, I see all these other moms doing it too, and they don’t look nearly half as defeated as I do on a day like today.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I’m doing it wrong.

I’ve yelled my sons name from across the pool far too many times today, these people must think I’m crazy. I’ve told my 2 year old at least 7 times that she cannot take her puddle jumpers off in the pool, I’ve told her twice as many times that she cannot sit on the stairs and block other people from getting in and out. These lifeguards must hate us. I spent an entire day at the pool,a town pool at that. Somewhere I’d always sworn I’d NEVER go to. Yet there I was, after an entire day spent there, my kids come home and still want want want want , more more moreeeee!!!

I’m doing something wrong here and I really need to figure out what everyone else’s secret is. There must be a mass secret. 

  Today I brought a blue bouncy ball to the pool for my 2 year old. Every single time we’ve gone, she has seen a toy that she wanted, and did not stop wanting said toy for the entirety of our pool visit. The last 2 times it was a big, colorful blow up beach ball, the kind that you see people passing and tossing around in summer music videos by the pool, or on an old navy summer sale advertisement.

People bring all kinds of toys to this pool, and I mean… really how are you supposed to share with everyone who wants your toy?

So, today before we set out on our pool journey, I remembered that big stupid beach ball that has caused me oh so much uninvited stress at our last few visits. So I decided to bring her blue bouncy ball that she loves so much, for her to have all to herself if she wanted. Do you think that bouncy blue ball fixed my beach ball problem? Do you really believe that my job is that easy?

Today when we arrived at destination pool, unpacked ourselves and got ready to get in, I grabbed the blue bouncy ball brought it into the pool with us, and she didn’t even look at her favorite blue bouncy ball again the entire time we were there. She did however, spot that stupid beach ball and continue to want for it almost, but not quite, the whole time.

 

Ancestors Theory PT 1

January 18th, 2021

If one of my ancestors who came and went long before I, were to stumble upon my journal, open it, and begin reading aloud a page at random… they would be enraptured by what was before them, the spelling, the terminology, the meaning and matters… that is… if they could read it…

” As I sit on my front porch rocker and rock, I impatiently await my door dashers arrival, as I cannot fathom smoking a cigarette in one hand, without a coffee in the other… *bing*, its my apple watch… ‘ you’re dasher is en route’ “

image

What do you think they would make of that? Would they believe my ‘dasher’ to be my, courter? Or would they think I was speaking of some new form of travel, like a newly found reindeer that will pick me up? Would they think I was waiting and watching to catch the little thief down the street who seconds as a ding dong ditcher? What about my watch? My all knowing, fortune telling, shape of an apple, watch. I’m sure they’d probably think… lazy American!!! haha no but really.

Wouldn’t that be interesting?

*ancestor turns the page*

” I could still be sitting in my bed, binge watching the latest episodes of my favorite series, on Netflix or Hulu. I could be searching through amazon to find my next best new thing. Or watching the stock market to make sure my newest investment hasn’t completely sunken ship.”

Searching the amazon? Apple ,fortune telling, all knowing watch? Reindeer that deliver and talk? LAZY GIRL YOU NOT WOMAN!!!

I don’t even know if they’d make it a day in this time, just as I don’t know if I’d make it a day in their time. What do you think your ancestors would say? The ones you never knew. What do you think would be the MOST interesting, yet at the same time the most confusing, thing to them?

What about our lost loved ones? I don’t just mean an ancestor either, I mean friends, family, etc, loved ones we’ve lost. The ones who were here in our time. The ones who were seeing the world evolve. The ones who took their last breath far sooner than we would have liked, hoped.

What if you had 1 day with a lost one of your choice, but you couldn’t tell them that they had passed away? You had to go on as if it were a normal day, and they were still here in your life, today and always. It would be possible, because this is just a story...or a theoryso don’t worry about the details. Don’t even worry about, the living arrangements, how they got to you, or having to explain any of that to them, or having to catch them up on all the time they’ve missed. Forget that. As much as I would love to know all about heaven, I couldn’t ask. It wouldn’t be fair, or enough. Would it? When would it be enough? What would be enough?

How about a day with that ancestor who got their hands on your journal?? What if you could spend 24 hours with that ancestor that you’ve never met? What would you want to know? What would you want to show them?? I’m sure if your ancestor is George Washington or Good Ole Abe, they’d seize war on…. SOMEONE!! US??

I was just watching the movie ” RADIUM GIRLS”, A 2018 Film based on a true story, true events, from the 1920’s. That’s sort of why my mind came here. I’ve got to run out now though, but I do have more to say, on this. I’m intrigued.

So if your interested in the rest, or even if you just liked this post, leave a comment!! Please? Tell me what you think!! I want to interact with A real audience, A public audience. I want to bring in more opinions, facts, stories, theories, ETC!! I wrote more on this post, but I just took it away & saved as a draft for a rainy day!!! I’ll post more soon. Chat later 🙂

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I want to rename my “from home company”. Currently I call it, ” For Cups Sakes”. Get it?

Well I don’t do JUST cups. I do shirts, bags, socks, I make beautiful glitter covered tumblrs , keychains, stickers, wall and window decals, outdoor decals, such as on a car, a business logo, I have my own designs I’ve created for bumpers. I do not like to use Vinyl, and when I do, I ONLY like/ prefer to use HTV. I mainly use a technique that I had only recently learned about, somehow.. I’m sure, if you’ve gotten yourself to this page, than I’m sure you’ve heard of, it’s called Sublimation. Its amazing.

THE POINT THOUGHHHH….

For cups sakes..? like, a censored version of for fucks sakes? Because, that, is just how I roll. So I started mix matching words, here’s what I got..

‘ I don’t give a shirt’

‘ what is this shirt?@! ? ‘

I noted a few names from Greek Mythology that’s definition’s really spoke to me… I really like the idea of having a goddess name represent me and my stuff, even if it doesn’t have much to do with said specific goddess.

My Everyday challenges

Things that should come easy, should be easy enough, that aren’t. That don’t. Mental health? Self care? I forgot the importance.

Sometimes , a lot of times… i feel super useless at staying home.
I cannot simply sit and play or run around playing pretend with my child all day, or I won’t get anything done around the house ( tried & true for over and throughout a decade , I swear 🤚🏻)
I can’t sit on the computer / laptop/ phone, all day trying to work on / set up & market my business and blogs , putting all my energy into an entry, or a design, a project. Because I do that. And when I do, I feel as though I’ve wasted another day and another dollar. Literally. And I feel rushed and awful by dinner.
I cannot run around the house cleaning up after my toddler, or my school age kids all day because I just DONT. Maybe I just don’t WANT to do that anymore…
Or run around washing, drying, folding, putting away, all the laundry, dishes, work tools, project , etc.
Cuz I don’t want to do that either ; even though I really really should –

I mainly walk around my house in in circles.
Going from one thing to another,
From creating a product and design to folding the mountain of laundry I’ve created.
I go from building my site online, to playing store with my toddler.
I go from vacuuming, to cleaning up a huge liquid spill, usually on a carpet in my living room, or all over a wall, and in all the hard to reach/ even harder to clean, cracks, crevices & corners. In between appliances, and down the sides of the oven.

I go from packing some products, listing them online, packing a shipment, and putting it all out there, to literally crawling around the living room floor with my toddler, a flashlight in one hand, and a grabber in the other, face pressed against the carpet , trying to reach all the toys that my toddler has lost in the depths of there whoever knows when, but now MUST have them.
I smoke a cigarette ( I need to quit, I have the patches , I’m quitting.) – and while I’m smoking have to run in to help in the potty, change the channel, look at a block creation, or to just “ watch this”.

God there is just stuff everywhere. I just want to be “in the moment” with my toddler while I still can.

I want to be less impatient. Less rushed.
More patient, more steady.
Slow it down, but keep up.

I just want y’all to know- that today, I do not know how to get there. Not yet.
But I’m working on it. I’m trying.

Bare with me.

I’m truly Sorry if you don’t like it, it’s only the truth.
I’m trying to be the best mother, maybe I am then.

Read more , the rest of this story NOW @
http://www.truthmommy.com

  • da truth mommy

The 4 sets of completely different, 100% unique, gorgeous, soul reaching, all seeing eyes that I have watching me constantly, think that I am the best. …. Well, most of the time.
My preteen who is going on 30, does but won’t admit it. She wants to hate me.Isn’t that what teenage girls eventually do?? Hate their moms for a minute?

Great. I cannot wait to go through that over and over and over again. What about boys?

Do boys always love their mamas? They say that- but it hasn’t rang true in my family. I have brothers. I’ve seen cycles, stages, phases… I’m terrified. 👀

No, but really though, my kids mostly think that I’m “da bomb dot com”. Yes, they for real say that. ✊🏻👊🏻🤞🏻

I just feel like I can do better. I want to do better. Of COURSE my kids will think that of me. I think I’d really have to be a MONSTER for them to think otherwise, right?

I don’t even want to deal right now- but I have to go take care of this.

I have to do all the things that I don’t want to do. I’m here. I am alive and well, and Im beyond blessed to have my super large, loving , happy, healthy family to take care of. It’s my why.

This is the truth today.

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Cheating

I wrote the title, ” Cheating”, at the top of this post a few seconds ago. I’m sure by the end, or maybe even halfway through, I’ll forget why, and change it. That is how my mind is working lately.

I cannot tell you why we as humans do this. I’ve heard lots of theories behind this, such as; people are meant to love, we were meant to procreate, our bodies have these extraordinary capabilities so we must use them, because of lonliness, bittness, anger, resentments, confusion, spite, hate, love, joy, for attention, to be the center of your own world, to be adored, admired, he / she was JUST THERE, I do not know, so and so made me feel special, we were on a break, we broke up the day before, its the father / mother of my children…. I mean… really, the list of “reasons, or excuses” , could go on and on endlessly. I think we just reach for absolutely anything at the moment of truth, any words that might make some type of sense to get us out of the situation we’ve created.

Are there statistics on cheating ?? I never thought to look before now honestly. I have never cared to know the numbers, or the professional theories or exact sciences behind cheating. They may call it chemical balances / imbalances of our brains, our bodies ph, our chemistry… again, I’ve never cared for scientific answers about cheaters. Everyone has their own beliefs / sayings/ phases / phrases/ LIFE. Whatever. My take away from a recent situation I encountered, is that, we all need to live and let live.

It’s like, when your a child, playing in the dark, and you don’t want to look into the mirror after saying her name 3 xs. That is how I’ve always felt about delving into the brain of a cheater. I don’t always want to know what makes me tick, but I almost always want to know what makes other people tick. Something strange / NOT COOL happened to me recently though. I was kind of unwillingly tossed into some else’s personal situation, (as an outsider), and I basically was able to see from the perspectives of all the active parties involved. I can almost always see from multiple or all perspectives of almost all situations. Hey now, just note; I did not want to be involved in this, mainly because I’m like, more than a decade older than these people, but also because one of the involved is a close part of my family. I’ll just leave that right there at that though.

I caught myself sticking up for the person who is mostly in the wrong ,- wait did I just do it again? Yep, the sentence right before the dash – …right there see?? "I was sticking up for the one MOSTLY in the wrong", but what is mostly? I mean, they are ALL wrong honestly, ( I only know this now, after having more years of experience than I wish I had in playing the same roles as them), but they do not yet know any of that. This is their first time, and I would like to hope, it will be their last time.

Of course, I would never tell someone that cheated, that what they did was not wrong, or that it was okay. I simply just asked ‘said cheater’, how they felt about what they did. I listened to their side, and I said something along the lines of, I know, I get it. That’s because, I do. I can see from all sides, mostly, as I said already. It saddens me to see this happening with such young children adults. Ones that I care a lot about. So now, I’m delving in with my eyes wide open, because I want to know if there really is any truth behind the ” statistics”, or if there is any real one, reason. I do not believe that every single person that has cheated wants to hurt the person they are cheating on. I think yes, that might happen often due to things like; revenge, spite, misunderstanding or lack of communication, plus a long list of other things that may include words like, narcissists. Just maybe they fell out of love and don’t know how to end things ( coward), or maybe their partner has stopped giving them ANY type of love, affection, connection, maybe even stopped communicating. That could be for sooo many reasons, I can’t even go on with the maybes, the mights, the could, should, woulds. Instead, I’m going in.

“It is estimated that if someone cheated before, there is a 350 percent chance that they will cheat again, compared to those who have never cheated. In the same study that states that cheaters will cheat again, they found that those who have been cheated on will most likely be cheated on again.” Secure Forensics blog

That is alarming, but there is more from the Secure Forensics Blog that could give any cheater knots in their belly.

I’m not too sure I believe all of these numbers. This is an excerpt, the first I found today, from secureforensics.com

– I have to add, that almost every piece of information I’ve found online, is dated 2019. Not that it was long ago or that the numbers could change much, but I would personally like to entertain some statistics from the start of COVID vs before covid.

Now back to the recent event, here is another side. First, lets make some names clear.

We have, ‘said cheater’, then there is the ‘ex’, and we’ll call the one who was cheated on, ‘CURRENT’. OK? Let’s try that.

Now, to perspective #2, the one I would like to someday understand much more than I do now. I will try and show you the many ways this ex will //can be seen.

(Aside from words like, homewrecker, Is there an actual word for the 3rd person? The one who may not have someone at home, so they are not cheating, but they do know that the person they are sleeping with is cheating on their partner at home? )

The ex’s side, the one who was enabling said cheater, to cheat. So, just try to follow along, and remember, this goes back a little over a year, when the ex, and the said cheater were still involved in their 2 year relationship.

EX recently posted videos of old pics & videos from their previous 2 year relationship with ‘ said cheater’ , this video was telling a very clear story. I saw clear as day that EX was showing social media a timeline, from when the 2 were happy, to not happy, to over, to sad, and then tostronger and better,. I see you. I got ya. SO, after being thrown around the grapevine of peoples phones in various surrounding towns, it finally got to CURRENT. After playing this video repeatedly, CURRENT “somehow” got hooked up in conversation with EX ( who mind you they have never gotten along even slightly), ended up meeting up, ( I always pulled this sort of nonsense) and together, they went through each others phones, all the texts, videos, calls, facetimes, messages, you name it, if they had something from said cheater, they showed it to each other. After their long drawn out, detailed, heart wrenching , spiteful little “get together,” / TEA TIME- the 2 took lots of selfies together, AND EVEN ONES with all of the ex’s, ( 3 ) and sent them to ‘said cheater.’ You go girl/girls!! AM I right? I mean, I am, I know I am because once again, I have done the exact same thing as’EX’, BUT, it actually isn’t technically right. How is it right for ‘EX’ to go behind ‘cheaters’ back after doing the cheating WITH ‘said cheater’? One could say, she did this out of pure jealousy and spite to ruin said cheaters life. Another could say, well, said cheater deserves it because they broke both Exes, & Currents, hearts. Do you think EX owed anything to CURRENT? I mean… I don’t owe that kind of information to anyone, anytime I’ve chosen to share that type of info, I end up the bad guy. So…. live and let live.

I DO believe that Current probably deserved to know what said cheater had done behind their back, especially if said cheater wanted to stay with CURRENT and work things out. However, I’m still not sure if I think EX should have done what they did, or not. I know personally, that being in the position of EX, it does nothing but cause more trouble, drama, and problems in EXs life. Especially if the “doting, fun loving”, couple ‘CURRENT’ and ‘CHEATER’ end up together again. Actually no, that isn’t when it’s the worst- the worst case / outcome for EX, would be if EX too, had their own relationship. Which they do not. So EX was not worried about any of their own consequences when they went and told CURRENT literally EVERY THING, every detail, everything, because, EX has no real consequences in this situation. I still don’t know if what EX did was morally correct. Well, I’ve come to find, that maybe, EX is more in the wrong than I thought.

Ex seems to be the one I can relate to the most, Ex is very much like me. I don’t like saying that, but it just might be true. Lets see.

I spent over an hour at a time, listening to both ‘EX’, and ‘said cheater’. Being there for both of them, separately. Unfortunately, I do not know CURRENT very well, nor have I wanted to. I guess I might be biased, but I still do not believe that CURRENT deserved to be cheated on. No one deserves that pain.

Well, that is true, but as the story went on, I learned more things, that I wish I didn’t know.

WHY DID THEY CALL ME?! Why involve me, very literally, yet not want me involved? Cheating is a bad place to go. Its not a good place to stay in either. Is once a cheater always a cheater really true?? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen otherwise. I do think that I believe they won’t be that way forever. But when is enough enough? How much hurt can a person spew to the ones they say they “love” in a lifetime? What will make them not do it again?? I think as humans, we tend to feel, and maybe even get, stuck.

Human nature; We do not like to accept that we will do or not do 1 thing for the rest of our lives. That may not make sense out-loud, but it can be compared to…. say, alcohol . An Alcoholic does NOT want to stop or struggles harder to stop drinking , AND NEVER DRINK ALCOHOL AGAIN until the day they die!! ya know maybe some DO though, because everyone is different, but I know that when someone tells me I have to do something and can only do that, or to stop doing something and I can never do it again, feel it again, for the rest of my life, I don’t want to do a damn thing they tell me!!

the kid needs dough dough’s so ill revisit this later i guess.

01.14.21 @ 9AM

Alright, SO here’s the thing. Not that I would say I invested way too much into the situation, BUT what I might say, is that yesterday, I did waste a lot of time, energy, & thoughts on this situation which is not of my own. Therefore, I can say with complete honesty, I was 100% Blind Sided by the situation about to ensue, a situation I have been over and done with for MONTHS. Not that it happened necessarily because of the whole, ‘ ex, said cheater & current’, situation, more likely because, that’s just the way it goes… isn’t it?

People from our past like to pop out at some of the most ironic of times. Isn’t it ironic? A little too ironic, I think. haha , I just had too.

I can see clearly now, why I was so mentally invested in getting to the bottom of this. So today, I’m trying to shift my focus. I’m done telling their story, however, I’m still trying to understand the WHY behind it all. Not just for the young trio I’ve mentioned above, but for every & anyone involved in one of these overly relatable, cliche, yet highly distasteful situations.

I’m taking a closer look at the, ‘cheater’ & the ‘EX’ , so to say.

I want to know why those 2 players do what they do.

How did they get to this point?

What was the cheaters intention going in?

What was the

Wow, I really dove into the rabbit hole of cheating over the last 2 days, boy oh boy I am not even sure how to decipher through the real and the not real, the opinions that I agree most with, the opinions I cannot even fathom. I’m trying here, I really am.

MICRO CHEATING??? welllll that’s a new word for me. Check out the link ^ attached ^ – I can’t even believe what I just read through!! There are so many ‘ chapters’ so to say, options, on that website! So many writers, bloggers, you-tubers, journalists, stay-at-home-parents, people just like ME, write about this!! Okay, I got you lets dive back into some words and numbers, and I’ll do my best at the end to put some organization/ order in place.

Rewire seems to have a super in depth article, I enjoyed reading through this article by Katie Moritz, actually. It may not be super relatable for all the young-ins, but for me, and probably anyone in long term relationships/ married, it is a good read. Here is the Headline..

If One of You Cheated, Is There Hope for Your Relationship?

As a general rule, micro-cheating is anything that’s more emotionally, physically, or sexually charged than what’s considered kosher in your relationship.Nov 25, 2019 –

Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — Written by Gabrielle Kassel on November 25, 2019 – HEALTHLINE.COM

Here is the full Article from HEALTHLINE.COM

Rather than copy/pasting the entire article here, I’ve gone through, pulled, copied,re-read, and pasted some of what I think is paramount information in the article. I’ve also cited each author, editor, quote, that is on here, as far as I know. The full article can be read Here- 9 FAQs full Article from HEALTHLINE.COM


What Exactly Is ‘Micro-Cheating’?

Sure, it’s easy to identify cheating when there’s genital licking/stroking/touching involved. But what about with things that are a little more subtle — like winking, under-the-table app swiping, or knee touching?

“It’s anything that could lead to full-blown cheating in the future.”

TAMMY SHAKLEE LGBTQ relationship expert and founder of H4M

Is this a new thing? Nope! Thanks to our new obsession with naming dating trends and tragedies, we just now have the language to call this behavior out.

Shaklee notes; the most common forms of micro-cheating involve text messaging and social media (*cough* DM slides *cough*), so if micro-cheating seems more common than ever before, it’s because we’ve become increasingly Online.

Is micro-cheating the same as emotional cheating? No, but the two have some overlap. As Gigi Engle, Lifestyle Condoms brand ambassador, certified sex coach, and author of “All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life” says, “Emotional cheating is a cousin of micro-cheating.” With emotional cheating there’s zero hanky panky, but there’s an inappropriate emotional investment.

Micro-cheating, doesn’t refer exclusively to emotional boundary crossing. It’s generally overinvesting time, energy, or head space in a person who isn’t your partner, says Shaklee.

What if you’re the one doing it, and you didn’t even realize?

The number one sign that you’re micro-cheating is prioritizing someone else — and their feelings, approval, or attention — over your partner.

“When something good happens, are you telling someone before you tell your partner?” asks Shaklee.

Are you experiencing less attention from, intimacy with, or excitement toward your partner than before? Your questionable behavior may be indicative of dissatisfaction within the current state of your relationship.

If so — and you think your relationship is worth salvaging — it’s time to work with your partner to fix that. If, however, there’s been a noticeable shift in your relationship that doesn’t feel amendable, the solution may be to breakup, says Shaklee.

Remember: Your feelings are valid. “If they blow you off saying ‘it’s no big deal,’ or make you feel needy or unreasonable, that’s a form of gaslighting,” says Engle. And that’s good reason to reconsider your relationship.

The bottom line

What counts as micro-cheating varies from relationship to relationship, depending on what’s been established as cheating. This is why creating emotional, physical, and sexual boundaries (and sooner rather than later!) is so important.


Gabrielle Kassel is a New York–based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.

Last medically reviewed on November 25, 2019



“Last medically reviewed on..” ….. MEDICALLY???

Okay, I need a break from this world. I’ll be sure to follow up when I have my own conclusion to this. Be sure to subscribe to the blog to get updates on stories & follow ups!!

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