What does vaping make you feel like?

I’ve been a cigarette smoker for more than half of my life. More specifically, a menthol cigarette smoker. A Newport smoker.

Pack of 20 Newport's - Menthol Cigarette's
Pack Of Newport’s – Menthol Cigarettes

When I was 22 years old, I had a little bit of my freedom taken away for about 3 weeks. Where I was, I could still smoke, but not on my own time.

I couldn’t smoke whenever I felt like smoking, but only when it was announced… ” SMOKE BREAK!!! SMOKE BREAAAK COME GET YA SMOKE BREAK! TIME FOR FRESH AIR!!! ”

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At that point- one cigarette, a short- was just not enough.. it just didn’t do it for me. So, I switched to Newport 100s. This way, I could smoke 1 whole cigarette, plus a half of a cigarette & save the other half for next time. ( or give it away to someone without any.)

I thought for sure this change would be temporary. That when I got home, I’d go right back to smoking shorts. I wouldn’t need all that cigarette when I could smoke on my time. Whenever I wanted to smoke.

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That wasn’t the case. Instead, I continued smoking Newport 100s. The excuse I used now?? “It’s easier to Split a cigarette with someone…”

Well, true true, Fair Point. It worked well when I hung out with other smokers. My live-in-BoyFriend also smoked Newport’s and we felt like splitting the 100s made us smoke less!!! THE LOGIC!!

I mean everyone we talked to, e v e r y o n e we hung out with always wanted us to “Split a cigawette wisss me pls?” (a joke for another day)

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There were a few times in between then and now, that I actually quit smoking all together.

Those times, I used the Nicotine Patches to quit.

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The most successful time I used the patches, I stayed on Step One, 21MG’s, for about 2.5-3 months. It was Christmas-time & I had a lot going on at the time. My doctor was very much monitoring me with monthly appointments.

Somewhere in between the third and fourth month of Step One, (January), I felt as though I was finally ready to step down to a 14MG Patch, Step 2. During the transition, 4 of 5 times, there was a period of, 2 maybe 3 days that I had forgotten to change my patch all together. So when the time came to step down, I put on the 14MG patch and within a few shorts hours I was so sick.

Clammy palms, sweaty armpits, pounding headache with an emphasis on light sensitivity and nausea.

Forgetting to switch my patch for multiple days, multiple times, had lowered nicotine tolerance significantly.

After taking a few hour break without any patches on, I stepped down even lower, to Step 3, 7MG’s.

It didn’t make me sweat, or give me a headache, but the nausea was sticking to my insides like you’d think a giant wad of swallowed Bazooka Bubble Gum would do. Bazooka (chewing gum) - Wikipedia [Click image for Bazooka Bubble Gum Song by ScouterMom. com!]

A few short hours and a nice hot shower later – I could officially say I quit smoking. It felt great to say and so did I.

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Two and a half years later, while celebrating my “Dirty 30” at a bar in Patriot’s Place with a ‘good friend‘ of mine, we got a little buzzed and bummed a few cigarettes. None of which were Newports.

We Craved that cooling Menthol sensation that feels so much like relief.

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So, on the way back to her house, she bought us a pack of shorts, and we vowed to toss them out the window on the ride home.

We were rationalizing ….. We both preferred to smoke 100s, so it’s not like we’d really want them afterwards.

They were shorts, so we weren’t smoking as much.

It was my birthday, I deserved to do what I wanted to.

I hadn’t had a cigarette in 2.5 years, I wouldn’t throw that all away in one night… Right?

Happy Birthday To Me.

I did not throw that pack out the window on the ride home that night.

I told myself I was not going to litter just to get them away from me. No, I’d throw them in the first dumpster I saw. More rationalizing on my part.

Still, I didn’t.

I smoked three that night and held onto the pack for over a week. After they were gone, I picked right back up.

Stupid.

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Maybe just as stupid as my most recent attempt at “quitting“. See I tried to stay the course I knew, and use the Patch again, but I continued to smoke- and you cannot do both.

This time, Newports and all menthol cigarettes had been completely banned from the State that I live in. Flavors were completely banned. I’d have to drive an hour or more to get the cigarettes I smoked.

This time, I picked up something new. Something I’ve pretty much always been against.

Something that has been turned into ‘the trendy way to smoke.’

Appealing to the budding minds of our youth.

Our children.

The Future.

There are risks, we just don’t know about them all, not yet.

Vaping.

I thought that by using a Puff Bar, more Specifically, an ESCO BAR whenever I craved a cigarette, than I was on the path to quitting.

I thought that with every craving I had, Every puff that I took, I was one step closer to being a retired smoker.

Instead, I was using just another form of replacement therapy.

The flavors were wide and filled with taste. Colorful even. So hard to choose.

Now – I use this…

SMOK’s Nord 4. It’s a small enough vape “bar” with a removable tank to add in nicotine flavors. The difference between this and an Esco Bar, is that this can be refilled as needed, buttt also, everyone so often the coil needs to be changed out. How do you know when to change it?? Oh you’ll know.

The bitter/bad coil taste has quite a wide variety of grotesque tastes. When you know- You know.

I thought this was not as bad as smoking cigarettes, and, while it might not be as bad as sucking down 20 Newport 100’s per day – It still feels like its pretty frikkin bad!! I’ll tell you a little about what I feel.

See usually when I quit smoking, I feel it in my lungs pretty shortly after quitting. I feel like breathing becomes easier, lighter even.

With vaping, I’ve not felt my breathing get lighter by any means, maybe slightly easier, cleaner, but not lighter.

I don’t stink like stale cigarette smoke anymore *hooray!!* and my mouth doesn’t taste like an old dirty ashtray, but are my lungs greasy now?? Oil and water do not mix, so is the oil sitting on the fluid of my lungs? It sort of feels like this is what that would feel like. hmm.

There are days where I feel like I’m puffing on a computer – Like I’m puffing electricity… if that were a thing…

The dull ache in the back of my throat that connects in my head, leads me to believe it has something to do with my vaping… but what do I know?

My breath sometimes feels heavy, too heavy. Like taking a great big inhale just won’t work because it’s too heavy, or something is in the way.

This isn’t an every time thing, however it is a thing. Is it due to vaping? I can’t say, but there are times where I feel like I know my body so well, that I know something is going on in there…

I’d need to do a lot more research on the effects of vaping to really know any answers, but today I just wanted to share my thoughts about my vaping with you. Have something you’d like to add or say about vaping or smoking?

We’d love to hear you Share in the comments!!

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The ‘no’ memories …

Ever think of a memory… and while your thinking of it…. Your thinking, or saying out loud …, “ no, no, noopee…” ?

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It can’t only be me.

Are those the bad memories?? The ones our brains want us to forget altogether. The ones we do usually end up forgetting altogether .

It’s like, even though it’s running through my head, maybe even … call it a flashback…. I do not want to think about it now or ever again.

I never really thought of it that way.

But thank you brain, for healing my heart ❣️

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    A thought for the day that I’m struggling with, that I’ve never looked at afar, from FmomB.. xO.

    Our World is just a simulation?

    Written as a thought august 21, 2021

    Can you imagine that some little space alien child or man child are holding their version of an XBOX controller, controlling our every single move? Controlling everything we do, down to the clacking sounds I hear right now as I continue to type?

    There is a theory that Our hardware runs solely on the speed of light?

    I mean, it could totally make sense, right? This is something that I don’t understand.

    Ancestors Theory PT 1

    January 18th, 2021

    If one of my ancestors who came and went long before I, were to stumble upon my journal, open it, and begin reading aloud a page at random… they would be enraptured by what was before them, the spelling, the terminology, the meaning and matters… that is… if they could read it…

    ” As I sit on my front porch rocker and rock, I impatiently await my door dashers arrival, as I cannot fathom smoking a cigarette in one hand, without a coffee in the other… *bing*, its my apple watch… ‘ you’re dasher is en route’ “

    image

    What do you think they would make of that? Would they believe my ‘dasher’ to be my, courter? Or would they think I was speaking of some new form of travel, like a newly found reindeer that will pick me up? Would they think I was waiting and watching to catch the little thief down the street who seconds as a ding dong ditcher? What about my watch? My all knowing, fortune telling, shape of an apple, watch. I’m sure they’d probably think… lazy American!!! haha no but really.

    Wouldn’t that be interesting?

    *ancestor turns the page*

    ” I could still be sitting in my bed, binge watching the latest episodes of my favorite series, on Netflix or Hulu. I could be searching through amazon to find my next best new thing. Or watching the stock market to make sure my newest investment hasn’t completely sunken ship.”

    Searching the amazon? Apple ,fortune telling, all knowing watch? Reindeer that deliver and talk? LAZY GIRL YOU NOT WOMAN!!!

    I don’t even know if they’d make it a day in this time, just as I don’t know if I’d make it a day in their time. What do you think your ancestors would say? The ones you never knew. What do you think would be the MOST interesting, yet at the same time the most confusing, thing to them?

    What about our lost loved ones? I don’t just mean an ancestor either, I mean friends, family, etc, loved ones we’ve lost. The ones who were here in our time. The ones who were seeing the world evolve. The ones who took their last breath far sooner than we would have liked, hoped.

    What if you had 1 day with a lost one of your choice, but you couldn’t tell them that they had passed away? You had to go on as if it were a normal day, and they were still here in your life, today and always. It would be possible, because this is just a story...or a theoryso don’t worry about the details. Don’t even worry about, the living arrangements, how they got to you, or having to explain any of that to them, or having to catch them up on all the time they’ve missed. Forget that. As much as I would love to know all about heaven, I couldn’t ask. It wouldn’t be fair, or enough. Would it? When would it be enough? What would be enough?

    How about a day with that ancestor who got their hands on your journal?? What if you could spend 24 hours with that ancestor that you’ve never met? What would you want to know? What would you want to show them?? I’m sure if your ancestor is George Washington or Good Ole Abe, they’d seize war on…. SOMEONE!! US??

    I was just watching the movie ” RADIUM GIRLS”, A 2018 Film based on a true story, true events, from the 1920’s. That’s sort of why my mind came here. I’ve got to run out now though, but I do have more to say, on this. I’m intrigued.

    So if your interested in the rest, or even if you just liked this post, leave a comment!! Please? Tell me what you think!! I want to interact with A real audience, A public audience. I want to bring in more opinions, facts, stories, theories, ETC!! I wrote more on this post, but I just took it away & saved as a draft for a rainy day!!! I’ll post more soon. Chat later 🙂

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