If I kept track of every time I thought about someone…

Saturday August 21, 2021

10:56pm Sitting outside on my “stoop” aka … farmers… porch 🤣😂 – the air changes… the breeze feels stuffy, and all of a sudden it’s not.

I think of you…

I can’t tell you exactly why- it was just like one second you were there, the next you weren’t.

At first an indoor affair came to mind, something that happened in my adult years. Seconds later, a line or 2 into the song, you come to mind. Not the last version of you I saw. The high school, awkward, 8th grade you. Maybe this was a song we listened to together with friends or maybe on one of our blunt cruises..

Next up @ a little past 11pm, still on the same stoop..

I think of you

Not because this song has any consensual significance … but because I’ll never forget you rapping it… https://music.amazon.com/albums/B07V1PSR43?do=play&trackAsin=B07V49TMTN&ref=dm_sh_xxNipT4CFBBOnYFYIt0rHIb8gholy shit… is that The significance??? Is this the same “bands” song from while we were playing drinking games as kids ?

No. I’m wrong.

But at 11:19 …

“ girl run. Run like a track star if mooski ain’t say it better “ – I know booboo , I know coR. & I thank you

Or you’d say something like… ‘ ain’t ni key say it as good as so and so in his last and only hit wonder let me tell you.”

Let me tell you.

A boogie wit a hoodie said it correct when he said “There will never be another you

Always ALWAYS. Mentioning red light special , marvins room, confessions ( let’s say usher period)

“ cuz… let me tell you a little something about MY life a boogie wit a hoodie…

A trip to the Pool in 2019

July 30th, 2019

It’s days like today where I question where my sanity was at when I decided to have 4 children by the age of 28. I’m exhausted. I feel as though my spirit has been stomped on, picked up, chewed on & spat back out, over, and over and over again. Am I doing this right? I must not be, I see all these other moms doing it too, and they don’t look nearly half as defeated as I do on a day like today.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I’m doing it wrong.

I’ve yelled my sons name from across the pool far too many times today, these people must think I’m crazy. I’ve told my 2 year old at least 7 times that she cannot take her puddle jumpers off in the pool, I’ve told her twice as many times that she cannot sit on the stairs and block other people from getting in and out. These lifeguards must hate us. I spent an entire day at the pool,a town pool at that. Somewhere I’d always sworn I’d NEVER go to. Yet there I was, after an entire day spent there, my kids come home and still want want want want , more more moreeeee!!!

I’m doing something wrong here and I really need to figure out what everyone else’s secret is. There must be a mass secret. 

  Today I brought a blue bouncy ball to the pool for my 2 year old. Every single time we’ve gone, she has seen a toy that she wanted, and did not stop wanting said toy for the entirety of our pool visit. The last 2 times it was a big, colorful blow up beach ball, the kind that you see people passing and tossing around in summer music videos by the pool, or on an old navy summer sale advertisement.

People bring all kinds of toys to this pool, and I mean… really how are you supposed to share with everyone who wants your toy?

So, today before we set out on our pool journey, I remembered that big stupid beach ball that has caused me oh so much uninvited stress at our last few visits. So I decided to bring her blue bouncy ball that she loves so much, for her to have all to herself if she wanted. Do you think that bouncy blue ball fixed my beach ball problem? Do you really believe that my job is that easy?

Today when we arrived at destination pool, unpacked ourselves and got ready to get in, I grabbed the blue bouncy ball brought it into the pool with us, and she didn’t even look at her favorite blue bouncy ball again the entire time we were there. She did however, spot that stupid beach ball and continue to want for it almost, but not quite, the whole time.