Our horrible healthcare system

That song, “numb little bug”, is like the theme song. It’s what they want us all to be singing…

Our healthcare system has failed me, more times than I can count. Our justice system has failed me, as well, more than once. However, today-the healthcare system needs to be talked about. I don’t even think they know how bad they are. I know I’m not the only one, so come on!!? Why does this kind of sh?! still happen??

Later on, sometime soon.. I’m going to post about what happened to me this week. Why I felt targeted. It’s ridiculous, nonsense even. But it was able to ruin my entire day.

F. MomB
F. MomB

Heyy there, I’m FmomBiee! F – Mom-Biie … ya know? Like, Fbomb MomBie [ f bomb mom – zombie mom, it all just fits] pronounced – EFF-MOMB. – EE – my pen name, but I can be whoever you want me to be;]
Phew, now that that’s out of the way, I wanted to tell you a little bit about myself. As you know, I’m a mom , one who cusses a lot, a mom that can sometimes be compared to a zombie, a mom who cannot stand to get my fingernails dirty in the garden, or even in the kitchen even though those are 2 of my favorite places! Personally, I’m not very creative, so I like to stick to the step-by-step guides for most arts and crafts, and as far as DIY-ing?? pppffttt- Those thing’s never come out the way they are supposed to!! I am not filtered in public and I sure won’t be here on the wide world of webbed lies ;] -That’s just it though, we’re here to make , bring change, to bring Truth. In just a couple of clicks, The World Wide Web is right at the fingertips of our children. They ask Siri or Google a question, and it is instantly met with hundreds of thousands of “results” or, answers. Right ones, wrong ones, irrelevant ones, inappropriate ones, completely unrelated ones, the list goes on. We hope that we can be right there too, at the top of the results, (and not one of the top 4 useless ads), with the best, most accurate information.

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an irreplaceable feeling

It’s something about our touch.. our sounds, our stillness & sense …

My children have all had a period of time where they slept next to me, and they had to be touching me. In some way or another; They could be on the other side of the bed, yet their tiny foot/feet were making contact with me.

My littles one moves around in her sleep when she feels or hears me near & doesn’t stop moving til she’s making contact with me.

My heart beat .

This must be why they said skin to skin…

These babies grew inside of us. You literally cannot get any closer to us, to our hearts, than the children you birthed. Not taking away from anyone else in any way – just giving my perspective.

They want to hear our heart beating, feel our hearts beating. There’s a comfort in that, that some just cannot go without.

To me, it’s important.

To me, I have to cherish it.

It won’t be this way forever – I keep reminding myself this. I keep reminding patI keep saying it outloud but I still have to remind myself,, I still forget.

These babies aren’t babies forever, so I believe in closeness. I believe in cuddling, hugs, goodnight kisses, bed sharing & I believe in giving into it.

Maybe it can be a lot … but it isn’t forever.

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TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN-

To whom this may concern,

Hello! I hope you were awoken by a beautiful insert season here , ( in my case autumn) day this morning😊 and that wherever this letter finds you, may you be well! I think you know my name and all that, so we can skip the formalities!! For the sake of purpose.

My purpose in writing to you tonight, is to make a few things clear and get a few crooked things straight!

First and foremost, I am not new.

Maybe that is the most relevant problem with our ‘situation’, maybe it’s the least. I don’t know.

I’m skipping a beat to take a beat and ease into this, but there is no way to really do that besides worming around, the Ins and outs. It doesn’t even matter today. No, not this time. This time was, in every single and possible way – different. This time I didn’t even know what just happened . it was a flash. A bomb.

Your a bomb. A tornado . A hurricane without a warning .

You make me talk to fast, and I second, third & even fourth guess every single word out of my mouth when I’m near you.

Your soul will be forever in debt to me for using the fuck outta me. And you did make a promise and you lied. Lied manipulated… drained. As if my life isn’t enough.

As if I don’t have my own shit. I’ll remember. My soul.. will remember.

To Give up

I am a fighter. I’ve found that fighting is what I do the most. What I do the best. It’s not that I want to be a fighter. I don’t like to have to fight for everything. I don’t even realize it when I’m doing it. It’s just what it is.

If someone takes from me, I want it back. I will get it back. I will do every possible thing in my power, to get said thing back.

I’m sure of that. I don’t give up ever. If I do happen to fall short though, it is not for very long. So I just say instead that I do not ever give up. I will never give up.

Dramatic as it may sound. It is cold hard truth, bruh.

I’ve been fighting this way for 12 solid years now. But it feels like forever.

I fight for what I want. I make it a point to get it.

Whats the whole point of everything anyways?

Does it really mean that much if you can just take it? Is it even important to you? Does it really vibe with you, call to you?

Yeah, Fight or Flight is human nature, its instinct – for every friggin situation. Right?

Fight, Flight, or Bite your tongue? That’s basically flight?

I know all that has been said, but maybe sometimes I give way too little credit.But,- Well, what are the options? What does giving up consist of anyway?

I guess it must be different for everyone though, obviously.

I mean, giving up for me could also be a lot of things. Just, when I’m having a crappy day, I think of that, like.. “ugh I give up”, “I’m loosing it”, “I’m all done.” Like, what do I even mean by those things?

I’m not friggin done with life. I just give up hah. I can’t go use drugs. Not that I want to but I mean, that’d be a form of giving up for me.

Can I run away though??

No.. haha although, I wish. *silly faces*

I’m playing! Gotta lighten up my mood some way or another. Whats up with you tonight? How was your day? Anyone have a different theory/ opinion? I’d love to hear it :]

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I am a fighter. I’ve found that fighting is what I do the most. What I do the best. It’s not that I want to be a fighter. I don’t like to have to fight for everything. I don’t even realize it when I’m doing it. It’s just what it is.

If someone takes from me, I want it back. I will get it back. I will do every possible thing in my power, to get said thing back.

I’m sure of that. I don’t give up ever. If I do happen to fall short though, it is not for very long. So I just say instead that I do not ever give up. I will never give up.

Dramatic as it may sound. It is cold hard truth, bruh.

I’ve been fighting this way for 12 solid years now. But it feels like forever.

I fight for what I want. I make it a point to get it.

Whats the whole point of everything anyways?

Does it really mean that much if you can just take it? Is it even important to you? Does it really vibe with you, call to you?

Yeah, Fight or Flight is human nature, its instinct – for every friggin situation. Right?

Fight, Flight, or Bite your tongue? That’s basically flight?

I know all that has been said, but maybe sometimes I give way too little credit.But,- Well, what are the options? What does giving up consist of anyway?

I guess it must be different for everyone though, obviously.

I mean, giving up for me could also be a lot of things. Just, when I’m having a crappy day, I think of that, like.. “ugh I give up”, “I’m loosing it”, “I’m all done.” Like, what do I even mean by those things?

I’m not friggin done with life. I just give up hah. I can’t go use drugs. Not that I want to but I mean, that’d be a form of giving up for me.

Can I run away though??

No.. haha although, I wish. *silly faces*

I’m playing! Gotta lighten up my mood some way or another. Whats up with you tonight? How was your day? Anyone have a different theory/ opinion? I’d love to hear it :]Name(required)Email(required)Please rate our website(required)

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My Everyday challenges

Things that should come easy, should be easy enough, that aren’t. That don’t. Mental health? Self care? I forgot the importance.

Sometimes , a lot of times… i feel super useless at staying home.
I cannot simply sit and play or run around playing pretend with my child all day, or I won’t get anything done around the house ( tried & true for over and throughout a decade , I swear 🤚🏻)
I can’t sit on the computer / laptop/ phone, all day trying to work on / set up & market my business and blogs , putting all my energy into an entry, or a design, a project. Because I do that. And when I do, I feel as though I’ve wasted another day and another dollar. Literally. And I feel rushed and awful by dinner.
I cannot run around the house cleaning up after my toddler, or my school age kids all day because I just DONT. Maybe I just don’t WANT to do that anymore…
Or run around washing, drying, folding, putting away, all the laundry, dishes, work tools, project , etc.
Cuz I don’t want to do that either ; even though I really really should –

I mainly walk around my house in in circles.
Going from one thing to another,
From creating a product and design to folding the mountain of laundry I’ve created.
I go from building my site online, to playing store with my toddler.
I go from vacuuming, to cleaning up a huge liquid spill, usually on a carpet in my living room, or all over a wall, and in all the hard to reach/ even harder to clean, cracks, crevices & corners. In between appliances, and down the sides of the oven.

I go from packing some products, listing them online, packing a shipment, and putting it all out there, to literally crawling around the living room floor with my toddler, a flashlight in one hand, and a grabber in the other, face pressed against the carpet , trying to reach all the toys that my toddler has lost in the depths of there whoever knows when, but now MUST have them.
I smoke a cigarette ( I need to quit, I have the patches , I’m quitting.) – and while I’m smoking have to run in to help in the potty, change the channel, look at a block creation, or to just “ watch this”.

God there is just stuff everywhere. I just want to be “in the moment” with my toddler while I still can.

I want to be less impatient. Less rushed.
More patient, more steady.
Slow it down, but keep up.

I just want y’all to know- that today, I do not know how to get there. Not yet.
But I’m working on it. I’m trying.

Bare with me.

I’m truly Sorry if you don’t like it, it’s only the truth.
I’m trying to be the best mother, maybe I am then.

Read more , the rest of this story NOW @
http://www.truthmommy.com

  • da truth mommy

The 4 sets of completely different, 100% unique, gorgeous, soul reaching, all seeing eyes that I have watching me constantly, think that I am the best. …. Well, most of the time.
My preteen who is going on 30, does but won’t admit it. She wants to hate me.Isn’t that what teenage girls eventually do?? Hate their moms for a minute?

Great. I cannot wait to go through that over and over and over again. What about boys?

Do boys always love their mamas? They say that- but it hasn’t rang true in my family. I have brothers. I’ve seen cycles, stages, phases… I’m terrified. 👀

No, but really though, my kids mostly think that I’m “da bomb dot com”. Yes, they for real say that. ✊🏻👊🏻🤞🏻

I just feel like I can do better. I want to do better. Of COURSE my kids will think that of me. I think I’d really have to be a MONSTER for them to think otherwise, right?

I don’t even want to deal right now- but I have to go take care of this.

I have to do all the things that I don’t want to do. I’m here. I am alive and well, and Im beyond blessed to have my super large, loving , happy, healthy family to take care of. It’s my why.

This is the truth today.

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