1st installment of the Home Alone series-
This is completely unrelated to the Home Alone Franchise, The Walt Disney Company, Disney+, 20th Century Studios, 21st Century Fox, or any other Big Name producers, Studios, etc – that sound slightly different but are all pretty much the same company.
I’m not taking away from providers, however, they run on us too (yah, I know how it sounds). However, some SAHM’s do a lot of the providing themselves too.
I’ve been told many times that Most Moms do not have the ability to be a SAHM. That, Most working moms would kill to be a SAHM. It’s made to sound like being a SAHM is the easiest, most luxurious job in existence.
Yet, there is no Placement Test for being a SAHM. There is no training, no instruction manuals or how-to- Guides on being a Mom, never mind a Stay at home Mom.
It almost sounds like being a SAHM is a Career path, a goal that one should strive for in Life.
Don't mistake my words, not yet at least.
As if being a SAHM isn’t the oldest job in the history of “jobs”, next to that of the “sex worker“.
As if women didn’t spend
decades, no centuries, fighting for the right to leave the home, go after their dreams, and have goals and aspirations of their own.
As if being a SAHM does not effect the Mental Health, the Wellness, and the overall Health in general, of a woman.
There is no rule book that tells you where and when this road leads to. All we know is that when our kids are 5, they go to Kindergarten. What we don’t know though, is when our “Job” as a stay at home parent, ends.
Having a SAHM is in fact one of the Greatest Gifts that a family can be blessed with. It is one of the most Selfless, whole hearted, Thankless Gifts that we can give to our family. Having a SAHM can alleviate lots of additional family stressors too, like having to send your children to Daycare, or paying for additional child-care for before and after school.
Many kids will say that they’d prefer having one Stay at home Parent. One who
will can chaperone every field trip, make it to every practice, and be at every game and every play without having to dip into their weekly income. One who can drop them off at school, and then be there to pick them up after school. All of those things are beneficial to us as well, because if we were working, we wouldn’t get to do all the things.
There are countless benefits and advantages to being a SAHM, as there are countless drawbacks and disadvantages too.
Being a SAHM, is a Gift. It is a blessing, and truly, one of the most selfless acts of love. It is instinctual and comes natural to most women, but it does not come to us free of charge.
It is a gift to have the ability to be there the moment your children wake up in the morning, until the very minute they go to sleep at night.
It is a gift to be able to cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner, all from the very Kitchen of your own home, for everyone, every.single.day if you really want to.
It is a Gift to be able to hang out with your Toddler at the park at any time of day that you want, or go stroll around the mall aimlessly with your toddler in tow (money permitting) .
It is a Gift to be able to sit home, binge watching Netflix series after Netflix series, Movie after Movie, while your children run amuck together around the house, or even better, while they’re in school.
It is a gift to be able to wash, dry, and Fold, your laundry all in the same day while simultaneously watching TV and playing with your kids.
Did I mention that being a SAHM is a Gift?
You can do anything you want to do when your a SAHM, really. However, the one thing you should know is, you should Not sit around doing whatever the hell you want to do every single day. You should Not do whatever the hell you want to do, especially if you want to do nothing.
Maybe the first year, sure, that
would could be self acceptable, for a little while anyways. At least until all of your children are school aged, then you might not be as self accepting of your choices as you would have hoped.
Then it could have already become just another one of your bad habits.
The worst drawback of it all? You might happen to lose yourself. You may feel in the moments that, this is your purpose. That being a SAHM is your life, and, well, it is, but it’s not all of your life. There needs to be more. There needs to be hobby’s, skills and long term Goals. There needs to be a plan of action set into place for the day you are released of your stay at home duties.
People are always reminding us of how, “It goes by in the blink of an eye”, or to, “Enjoy them now cause’ it isn’t gonna be like this for long,” and as a society, we’ve come to accept that, some even embracing it.
It is human nature to expect things to happen the way they’re
always supposed to happened. It is in some humans nature, more than others to be prepared, and or, to challenge what others would expect.
The day your youngest child goes to Kindergarten is a bitter sweet experience, more bitter if you are unprepared for what is going to happen all day.
Today – I’m home alone, for the first time in over a decade- I do not have to do a damn THING ALL DAY if I don’t want to, but I should, right?
One might say that I’m an over-thinker – and I am – and during these school days, I’ve found myself wasting the hours away in worry. Worrying about what’s next for me. My thoughts race 90MPH from here to there and all over the place. Do I go back to school? Do I apply for a part time job? Do I want a career? Do I ever want to work? Do I want to open my own business? Doing what? Am I crafty enough? Am I good enough? Am I present enough? Do I spend enough time with my kids? Do I do enough? Do I do too much? Should I slow down? How do I slow down but speed up?? Why are there fruit flies in my kitchen? I should probably shower in the morning… What am I gonna make for dinner? Am I meditating for too long? Not long enough? Am I doing too much?
We are not alone. There are many of us who are lost, or just think we are lost. There are many of us over thinking every decision we have to make no matter how big or small.
Just for today I will quiet my thoughts, and be here, home alone.