She was trying to be cool like me, while I was trying to be cool like her.

She was about the same age as I, maybe a year younger, but I believe she too is an Aries, maybe. Another free spirited, stubborn spit-fire ruled by Mars.

She always looked beautiful and always Carried the prettiest hair. She lived in a mansion, and they had a house on the water… she had an in-ground pool and always the most trending stuff to wear to school. She kept good grades and all of the teachers and all of the students loved her. I wasn’t jealous, because she was my friend. I truly didn’t realize the impact we had on one another back then.

I think we became friends either in gym class, a study, or detention… but we eventually started hanging out outside of school. I’d go over to her house where no one was home and we’d watch “ scary movie” and make prank calls on her home phone.

We’d lounge on the sectional eating snacks, having girl talk and just talking crap. We wanted to make a burn book, I believe she actually already had. Eventually we’d go to my house and hang out in my room. We had sleepovers locked in there for hours drinking, smoking, febreezing.

I introduced her to my friends and she came around a lot more. That was In high school.

I don’t think I even realized it, or maybe I just don’t remember, but we really were Best Friends, for a long period of time. She brought me to her parties, and introduced me to all of her friends& I brought her to all my parties & introduced her to all of mine.

They loved having her around, as did I. We went on the most crazy adventures every time we got high. We were pregnant together with our very first girls, we would stay up all night driving around stalking, and eating cheese curls.

You were a little extreme babe, I have to admit. But that was just you and we all loved you for it. A couple years in and each another kid, you loved farther away, and we drifted apart.

Not only that- that wasn’t just it. I was becoming a mess , spiraling, and there was nothing you ladies could do.

Another couple years and I hadn’t heard from you, but I bump into you at detox, who would’ve knew?

It happens again except this time in Jail, and we get out at the same time, and go back to hanging out like things were just fine. We started with pills, trading, scoring and selling, our lives already falling apart, so we kept rebelling.

Now I’d introduce you to my friends and my connects and you introduced me to yours – and I remember you taking off with a dealer… that’s when you got sores.

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I remember this well, yet I remember it vaguely, but I still remember standing in your shower, 13 years old , us learning to douche.

We’ve both fallen to our knees, gotten up and tried again lost everything and everyone , given up on all of our dreams – we’ve both been hurt and been used, been loved and been bruised- we’ve both been thieving and we’ve both been grieving …. We’ve both cleaned up and we’ve both relapsed.

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It’s been a long time now since I heard your name, or thought of you, and it’s sad.

You still have a chance at a beautiful life. You still have the chance to get away and make it all right. You still have a chance to get those beautiful kids, and creating the life that you always wanted to live in.

How is it true that the whole time I was watching you, you were watching me?

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