sleeplessness

It’s been a long day –
As a mom, I need to stay up,
As a human, I need to go to sleep,
I didn’t sleep last night,; I took three 2 minute long blinks… they both ended in a violent jolt- or a tiny twitch… I kept waking myself up. I desperately wanted sleep- but I couldn’t just lay there and close my eyes. There’s to much to do….


why does that happen at least 1 night a week??

Sometimes there are no long blinks at all…. Just sleeplessnesses,

Just getting up to pee, laying back down…. Waiting to hear the quiet footsteps of my tiny toddler.

Just laying.. hearing creaks, cracks, scratches & taps. I get up to smoke, but before I actually do it, I imagine myself doing it a dozen times or so.

I’m wasting time.

I recognize the pitter pattering of tiny feet as they slowly run across the carpeted floor to the staircase.

I don’t hear a sound for a moment, I look to my doorway and see the shadowy figure getting closer- and into my bed climbs my beautiful baby, for cuddles from mama.

Into my bed she climbs, and without a word gets under the blankets, and backs herself into my arms.

As a human, I should probably sleep,

Published by The Truth Mommy Blog

Hey there! Welcome to The Truth, Love Mommy :] I'm Tmom- an entrepreneurial, mom of 4 , balancing life as a Mom, as a Human, my cleaning business, as well as my recovery & addictions. I'm here for fun; to learn, grow & most importantly, to tell the Truth; [the whole truth & nothing but the truth]. I've been told by many people that I need to start a blog, write a book, or even just a journal, that could one day be published. Throughout COVID, I began really questioning my place, my purpose, in this crazy chaotic World. I'd been a SAHM for close to 10 years, and really lost myself in it. (Which IS Okay) I began making things, creating things; like, personalized Tshirts, cups, tumblrs, decals, etc. in hopes to create a small business out of it. I even gave it a snazzy name, "For Cups Sakes". ( ahh yes Spoonerisms) It wasn't a very quick start up, therefore I turned to blogging / journaling. I want to show people real life stuff. I want to tell daily events in my eyes. I want more perspective, and interaction. I want to know my people, people with like interests and similar stories to share. So Lets hang out, chat, advise, and just "vibe" ;]. Lets share our stories and grow together. Let's be real, like, really real, not just for FB real.

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